I “work” from home. I use the word work lightly. Currently what I do is go through the motions of work. I guess I shouldn’t sell myself short, I’ve accomplished a lot in the past few months, but still have a long way to go before I’ll feel I can truly say I’m self-employed.
Working from home certainly has its perks; A flexible schedule, lax dress code, unlimited sick and vacation days, extended coffee breaks all make up for the grueling hours and poor wages.
Of course, there are challenges in working from home. Distractions abound and when you suffer from monkey brain, those distractions can lead you down rabbit holes to nowhere. On a good day all temptations to “just polish the drip pan under the refrigerator real quick” can easily be pushed aside to attend to more pressing real world goals. On a bad day, I might end up swinging from one chore to another like a gibbon on crack. (Ok a gibbon is actually an ape, not a monkey, but you get the reference right?) Aside from the usual distractions of dishes, laundry, yard work, dust bunnies and actual work, I have to deal with this:
It can be difficult to concentrate with these eyes on me. As I tap away on the keyboard, I feel the rumbling engines of the train bound for a guilt trip revving. ”Have you forgotten something this morning?” How can I forget? Do I ever forget? Oh, the short memory span of an impatient pup.
As if one pitiful reminder of my dereliction of duties isn’t enough, there are two of them working as a tag team.
I mean, really, how is person supposed to get anything done under these conditions?
What the photos don’t project are the sound effects. They start with forced sighs, subtle hints at my neglectfulness. When sighs go ignored, they move onto whimpering. I offer a few words of encouragement, let them know I really haven’t forgotten, which only takes them from whimpering mode to “my life is pure hell” moans. Eventually, if I am very still, they give up and I get a few more moments of (somewhat) guilt free silence.
Any movement on my part is taken as indication that it must be time for the most exciting, fantastic, mind-blowing event of their lives:
A WALK!!! TIME FOR A WALK (repeat 72 times). However, this is not always the case, sometimes, I simply have to shift positions, or go to the bathroom. They make their disappointment known. And they know if they nag loud enough, their yowling and rooing will get me out the door.
Yet, I find through the stress of it all, this morning ritual they’ve made me part of is better than any timer I could set for myself. They know, better than I, the importance of taking those small breaks in the day. A little walk does a lot of good and does wonders for the mind, even if it isn’t the most exciting, mind-blowing event of the day.
You can probably guess, as I sit here typing away, all eyes are on me, they are beginning to throw in an occasional moan with the sighs – I should save myself a little frustration and get going before the rooing starts. Ah heck – why mess up the routine? I think I’ll finish my coffee first….right after I get to that drip pan….
Let the rooing begin!







































